Saturday, May 30

menapis permukaan meja

kami seperti jakun ketika melawat aquaria di KLCC.
haiwan-haiwan akuatik di sana agak menakjubkan.
terutamanya yang dapat dilihat berenang-renang di dalam akuarium "terowong".
sehinggakan kami melalui "terowong" itu sebanyak 3 kali.
tetapi kehendak sebenar kami melalui pengalaman yang sama untuk kali ke-2 dan ke-3 itu adalah untuk bergambar. hehe.
nasib baiklah rakan kuda saya pandai buat kawan. dapatlah kami mengimejkan pengalaman kami ditempat-tempat strategik.

can you tell how bored i am right now? even after sleeping less than 6 hrs last night, i am unable to sleep early. nocturnal.

hmmm, nocturnal -- nocturia -- dysuria -- haematuria -- heamatoma -- hamartomatous -- peutz- jegher's -- baby jugga -- blooduh --not funneee.

yes, inability to zzz early is so not funny.

"well this is it
i'm running out of space
here's my address
and number just in case"

hmmm... - #4

if silence is consent,
then is doing nothing a sign of approval?

"it's almost like loving. sad as that is
may not be cool, but it's so where i live
i ride on the rush all the hopes all the dreams"

he says, she says - #5

When the pawn hits the conflicts
He thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows
When he goes to the fight
And he’ll win the whole thing
‘fore he enters the ring
There’s no body to batter
When your mind is your might
So, when you go solo
You hold your own hand
And remember that depth
Is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand
Then you know where to land
And if you fall it won’t matter
Cause you’ll know that you’re right

title of Fiona Apple's 1999 studio album, one of the longest album title i've seen/read.

"dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
disebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku"

Tuesday, May 26

hmmm... - #3

the closer it is to a big examination,
the higher the number of interesting books happen to lie -innocently- around the house


who wants to brush up on their public health knowledge and help me research this? Mr Murphy, perhaps?

"not that i'm saying i wouldn't
i wouldn't want to not
wouldn't ever not want to"

kebangkitan musim bunga

instead of studying, i decided to be "cultured" and watch theater.
on my laptop.
which sucks.

but thank God for bootlegs.
for Malaysia would never, ever, ever stage that production in Istana Budaya. Or KLPAC. Or wherever for that matter.

"you can kiss your sorry *gluteal* goodbye
totally --- will they messed you up"
yeah, you know they're gonna try
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah"

p/s: grey's tipu. a&e is the department of boredom.

Sunday, May 24

another reason to want summer over with

i'm not sure how many times i've seen it.

conclusion: lea michele has a pair of powerful lungs.
it's too bad that cory monteith can't keep up.

or maybe i'm biased. i've always preferred listening to solo female vocals. which explains the outnumbered solo male acts in my itunes.

secretly, i think it's related to the fact that i can't sing to save my life.

"just a small town girl
living in a lonely world
she took the midnight train going anywhere"

Tuesday, May 19

he says, she says - #4

PG: are you making fun of me?
CC: it is the universe that makes fun of us all.
DR: why would the universe make fun of us?
CC: maybe it's insecure

Life, the brilliant TV series NBC killed.

"help me leave this corner of the room
i'm reaching out to you
cause i've got things i could talk to you about
and we could be wallflower friends till the end"

Monday, May 18

panegyric on women

"Isn't motherhood a perfect magical miracle? But a miracle that's impossible for men.
And maybe men say they're glad not to give birth, all the pain and blood, but really that's just so much sour grapes. For sure, men can't do anything near as incredible. Upper body strength, abstract thoughts...-any advantages men appear to have are pretty token."

Chuck Palahniuk writing as Victor Mancini, both men.

"Like a scab that won't heal, just another sore
Lost face in the crowd such a lonely bore
you could call me at 10.59 but dont call me at 11
coz that's my rule now"


I used to put in a tiny bit of extra effort to beat you every week. And you too of course. At the back of my mind I was always worried of not being able to. Cause even though it's crazy, I need that moment where I could smile. Be happy for one thing for a change. No matter how childish it was. The feeling of winning my deluded, private game was satisfying.

But now that fire of wanting to prove I'm better has gone. Extinguished. Burned-out.

I guess I've finally given up.

"Accepted" is not quite right, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

"calm down get straight
It's in our eyes it's how we operate
The way that we've been speaking now
I swear that we'd be friends"

Sunday, May 17

he says, she says - #3

"i'd like to come back as a giant Flemish rabbit... fifteen pounds of pure bunny."

Detective Charles "Charlie" Crews on reincarnation

"undaunted, you bathed in hollow cries
a reward for letting nothing under your skin
so help me, i dont know i might
just give the old dark side a try"

hmmm... - #2

if being able to have someone to laugh with means that you're liked

if being able to have someone to scold, remind and nag you means that you're loved

then what is being ignored?

"oh lover, i'm lost
because the road i've chosen beckons me away
and now i'm fighting words i never thought i'd say"

he says, she says - #2

"a larger mandible, more prominent zygomatic, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilea"

Dr Temperance Brennan, PhD. on hotness

"broken hearts hurt
but they make us strong
my war paint is sharpie ink
your thoughts and words are powerful"

he says, she says - #1

"Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way"


"so much is present inside my present
inside my present so much past
inside my present, inside my past
so, so"

Saturday, May 16

Word of the day - #1

cerebellar pilocytic astrocytoma.

well, i definitely did not see that coming.

"oh no having trouble
finding which way to go
i'm stuck in slo mo
looking on the ground for the love i've found""

hmmm... - #1

if you've tasted the best,
then all that is left is the good(s) and the better(s).

that's not really uplifting, is it?

"but it changed and now it's hard
not to dwell on memories
i know we'll grow
but we'll never bloom again"


i am hungry for blood

a particular fly's blood that is. i wonder if their blood is red, like ours.

when i find something interesting online it hovers near/around the computer, teasing me, taunting me, knowing that i wont have the adequate amount of swiftness to swat it in time. +

but right when i abandon the computer and give that flying little beast my full attention, it'll soar beyond my reach. buzzing around like it's winning this stupid, mundane game that is clearly one-sided and unfair.

i hate it when i have this much hate for something that's smaller than my femoral ring*

"if you're scared and tired of what you're scared of
why should you stay
get up and go
catch the last train
get in some car and drive out again"

*the entrance to the femoral canal, which is the most medial compartment of the femoral sheath (after the femoral artery -most lateral- and the femoral vein -the intermediate compartment). the femoral canal contains efferent lymphatic vessels with a lymph node suspended in areolar CT. the clinical significant of this femoral ring is that people (females are more common) to get a femoral hernia - where part of your GI tract gets herniated out from its normal position. the logical and scientific explanation for the existence of the femoral canal is that it allows the femoral vein (which is immediately lateral to the femoral canal) to expand in order to increase venous return from the leg in times of exercise.

Friday, May 15


reminds me of

not saying the former is a monster, it's just that the protagonist (is there any really in palahniuk's books?) also got shot in the face by a shot gun.

i remembered how i couldn't imagine what one would look like after staring down the wrong end of a shotgun.

now i no longer have to. which is just plain sad.

"I somehow see
what's beautiful in things
that are ephemeral
I'm my only friend, am i?"

Tuesday, May 12


"We are none of us alone.
Even as we exhale, it is inhaled by others.
The light that shines upon me, shines upon my neighbour as well.
In this way, everything is connected to everything else.
In this way, I am connected to my friend
even as i am connected to my enemy.
In this way, there is no difference between me and my friend.
Me and my enemy.
We are none of us alone."

TV, as i've always believed, is awesome.

"i will not let you define
everything i am by the one thing i dont have
i will not be ashamed
of my name anymore"

Sunday, May 10

a little enlightenment

"the responsibility of the enlightened is to enlighten."

in any context.

"cause i've been caught in between
what i wish for and all i need
if i find my own way
then how much will i find?
may God's love be with you, always"

Monday, May 4

miss match

the lack of posts for this year has been widely attributed to my self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder. i've always had that. and probably always will.

but me not blogging is not from the lack of trying i assure you. unfortunately the brain is most creative and active when i'm lying wide awake trying, TRYING to get some zzzs. that's when i come up with the most creative essays, the most interesting issues and the most beautiful poems. too bad it'll never see the light of day for once i wake up the next morning everything is just gone. bye, bye, bye.


in 40 days (according to m11's group account, cause i dont bother counting. not this early anyway), i'll be sitting for my professional exam (the name makes it sound so daunting, no?). it's a hot topic these days. people are dusting off their cobwebbed files, figuring out their gibberish handwriting on little, little notes they once treasured, wikipedia-ing (or as prof rashid likes to say, wrongdiagnosis-ing) all kinds of pathologies. one of these days, their servers are gonna crash, i tell ya.

haih, i wish i wasn't this nonchalant about our pros. it's like spm all over again. the need to study has never been so great, but for me, having peanut crack me up takes precedence. maybe i should learn something from it/he/she and down some nyquil and redbull.

managed to catch 15 minutes of oprah just now. they showed the 99 ballons video and celine and her went all teary eyed much like this cingga here. later after the break, and some much needed freshening of their make-ups, they had matt and ginny on via skype (what is with oprah nowadays? she seems to be skype-ing everything). these two people are amazing. their perspective on life and their story is just, as oprah puts it, "an inspiration to everyone here and around the globe".

i loved it when matt says (in the video), "just so you know, your mum is my hero". c'mon everyone, let's have a collective awwwwwwwwww.

seriously though, i loved that these two people celebrated their son's short life everyday, with photos, videos, cakes and celebrations. ginny went on to say that there would be time for her to be sad later, so she chose to be happy and make the most of it with her son. beautiful, really.

instead of ending this post with an excerpt from a song, like i always do, let's have something different.

"His is a story we cannot explain; so we just tell it.
His short life screamed out truth; and we are left to echo in whispers"
matt mooney