Thursday, July 31


went to see this y'day with changkul. it was a tad disappointing. i guess after 3 years of not having it in my life, i expected too much from the movie. unrealistic expectation, they say.

seriously though, the show was a tad slow, a bit jumpy (though this may be attributed to the many, MANY cuts made by the m'sian censorship board) and very, very predictable (this is a chick flick after all).

"There are no surprises in the movie, at least not good ones..
On television and in tasty 30-minute bites, the show “Sex and the City” managed to entertain and sometimes even enthrall...
But those same loud outfits, mugging faces and picayune dramas just don’t translate when blown up on a movie screen.." Manohla Dargis, the new york times

but it did bring back memories. i remembered how i went satc crazy in 2005, the year i took my spm. how i cramped in an episode btwn school and mrs chong's tuition. then showing up 5 minutes late and grinning sillily for 2 hours straight just because carry said yes to aidan. haha. those were the days...

on a diff note, i saw a former school mate in ou today. thank god die tak perasan i. the whole "hey, how are you, ape buat skrg, sihat tak, kat mne ni, nnt bile sng2 contact i" crap is just so awkward and let's face it, so superficial. especially when we weren't that close after all.

light the corners of my mind,
misty water-coloured memories,
of the way we were.
can it be that it was all so simple then?
so it's the laughter
we will remember"

Wednesday, July 30

confession pt 1

apparently words are very powerful.

who would've thought of that, right?

i have a crush on someone..

just because of his blog


dah la org tu i pernah kawan dgn dulu.


he seems so different on a webpage.

ke i x brape knal die dulu.


when it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you feel rather peckish, you'll get all these weird realization. and for today, this is mine.

when it's 2 am and you feel rather melancholy, you'll post your feelings for the world -my world, at least- to read.

so, when i read this when i'm more sober later today, i might just delete this post. or maybe i wont.

"i know i dont know you,
but i want you so bad.
everyone has a secret oh,
but can they keep it?
oh NO they cant"

Tuesday, July 29

tired out

today is tuesday and i think i've finally gotten over the aching pains last weekend gave me. shows how good of a shape i'm in.

when i complained that i got less than 5 hours of sleep over the pass 3 days, a no-nonsense soul told me that that would be the situation i'll face once i graduate and become a house officer. this splash of reality makes me really look forward to that future of mine. (can you detect the dripping sarcasm?)

but since i'm still a lowly student, i did get to qadha' tidur that sunday evening. a blissful 19-hour of pure oblivion.

i'm still enjoying what's left of this holiday. lazing around at home. eating. searching for places where i can get free wifi. avoiding dramas that i know i'll have to face in the very near future. but for now i'd rather push all that aside and switch on CNN instead.

" Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need"

Sunday, July 20

long lost

after a year of not being in touch, it's great to easily pick up where we left off. and greater still to know that after 3 years, we've still got the same way of thinking.

but things have not been static this past year. so many things have happened. and the catch up session we had was like a trip down memory lane for both of us.

it's comforting to know that even if he's far away and comes from a totally different background, i can talk to him about anything and get good feedbacks too.

oh and btw, congratulations on making it into cambridge. i bet it wasn't easy.

"And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same"

Saturday, July 12


because of the no internet the holidays bring, this post is a bit late finding its way to cyberspace. \

24th June

Multiple personality disorder. They’ve grown increasingly popular these past decade or so. With holywood making big bucks out of it, drug companies having a field day with it. It’s no wonder that everyone uses the word schitzo so lightly nowadays.

But like anything with a ‘disorder’ at the back of it, there’s also the normal physiology of it. Like there’s eating disorder, but you’ve also got yourself a normal eating habit. Ergo with multiple personality disorder, I guess there’s also the normal variety of multiple personality.

Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I do, indeed, need to see Prof Hatta. But I believe that everyone has got a bit of multiples in them. I personally believe that if you’ve never talk to yourself – be it to psych yourself up or convince yourself of something- , then you’re weird.

There has got to be the many sides of you that are constantly having a debate on most of your decision. Some are as mundane as what you choose to eat - the doctor in you tells you to choose healthily while the glutton in you tells you that you can diet another day. But then again some could be as important as who you choose to marry.

Multiple personalities are not just normal, they are pretty much crucial in our survival. The daredevil in us would always egg us on to drive fast and enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes with it. But the adult us would always tell us to think of the safety aspect of driving. It’s a mechanism that has been perfected as we live through our lives.

So it’s no surprise when the more cautious me told me not to do it. She reminded me of the repercussion that could come, the sudden mood change, the emptiness, the sucky, sucky realization. And for the past 11 days I listened to her. I weighed her arguments and sided with her.

But today the more precarious me decided to throw caution to the wind. She told me of the possible outcome and how beautiful it could be. She said that if I didn’t try, then I would never know. She reminded me of what happened when I was too cautious. And I decided to believe her. I decided to agree with her today.

They say humans have their very own built-in safety net. And I’ve just managed to ignore mine.

" I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed"