Monday, August 31


saya sara. saya rasa saya suke obstetric and gynaecology.

i made e mistake of telling my mum this and now she wants me to specialize in this field. but being an O&G specialist is brutal wey. late late calls. busy days. besides what happened to me liking nephrology? argument die: main baby is way more fun than main air kencing. sigh.

da la berkat mak tu sgt penting. her blessings and prayers have gotten me through so much. i cant just say no right? well, at least i have a few years to delay e decision.

"baby let's cruise away from here
don't be confused the way is clear
you're gonna fly away
glad you're going my way"


paintings are pleasing to the eyes.
music soothes the ears.
but words, well, they talk to the heart.

at least yours does to mine.

"he knows that no one can touch him now
he seems so at ease
a strange inner peace
is all that he's feeling somehow"

thanks, but no thanks.

before i started this posting, my reasons for wanting to adopt in the future was different.

i always thought that there were many children out there who are in need of love and guidance. God willing, i wanted to be the person to help them. to shower upon them much needed attention and to help them through this fleeting life and prepare them for the everlasting world.

personally, i dont see a reason for me to introduce another being onto this earth for me to nurture when there are millions of children out there for the taking. unlike others, i'm fine with not having a biological child (but i hold no offense against those who aren't).

now though, i think i'm gonna totally adopt in the future because i've seen the miracle of childbirth. many times over. and no matter how high my pain threshold is, i'm fairly certain that i do not want to go through the agonising process that we affectionately call labour. thanks, but no thanks.

"it's just another manic monday
i wish it was sunday
cause that's my funday
my i-dont-have-to-run day"

Friday, August 28

babies are adorable, yes they are!

saya rase x aci kamu berbuat begini.
but i refrain from saying much.
it's ramadhan after all.
i'm just accepting the things i cant change.
adapting is vital to successfully thrive here.

your words are funny and sensitive. your smiles, addictive.
you're smart and witty. really, it's a pity.
have fun in your version of third year clinicals!

"no i cant forget tomorrow
when i think of all my sorrow
when i had you there
but then i let you go"

Saturday, August 22

dear kawan lama

p.s. kamu yang "i love my mum" comel la.
especially since it was not related to the entry.

sekian. saya mahu tidur sehingga petang esok. heh

"since then it's been a book you read in reverse
so you understand less as the pages turn
or a movie so crass, so awkwardly cast
that even i could be a star"


i did my first V.E. today


kakak tu beranak cepat gile siot. tak sempat nak tgk and identify the mechanism of labour.

"we're made up of blood and rust
looking for someone to trust
without a fight
i think that you came to soon
you're the honey and the moon
that lights up my life"

Tuesday, August 11


kamu semua boleh blah.

didnt like today. and there is a high probability that i wont like tomorrow either.
saya rindu SCLs.

"how can you connect in an age
where strangers, landlords, lovers
your own blood cells betray
what binds the fabric together
when the raging, shifting winds of change
ber ripping away"

Sunday, August 9


i THINK i like you.
but i KNOW that's not enough.

"my words are seldom for a friend
and if i speak out loud
i would have to change the rules
for speaking's out of bounds
if it's practiced by a fool"

the internetS

ok. this wireless is playing a very cruel and sadistic trick on me. it lets me access the internet only when i'm near it. it being in a fan-less corner of the living room.

ahhhh. technology. how i 'love' thee. especially in times like these.

"put your arms around me
what you feel is what you are
and what you are is beautiful"

that's all (said in miranda priestly's dismissive tone)

i want this day to not end. not because it was so awesome. but because i'd rather tomorrow not come. heh.

another orientation done with. another break gone. and i predict tomorrow's gonna be a long, long day.

at least i can say that i spent the last few days of this VERY SHORT holidays productively. well, sort of.

sigh. i'm feeling very, very indifferent.

"i believe this is heaven
to no one else but me
and i'll defend it
as long as i can be
left here to linger in silence"

Monday, August 3

take me out

it takes a friend whom i have not seen in a year to get me out of the house. i'm such a lazy homebody.

but i found out today that she's my foodie soulmate. we ended up ordering almost the same thing. over and over again. hehe.

thanks fatin for the marc jacobs bracelet. you're such a brand whore (and i like you for that. :p)

serva me, servabote - latin for save me, and i will save you

"cut my life into pieces
this is my last resort
cause i'm losing my sight, losing my mind
wish somebody would tell me i'm fine"