because of the no internet the holidays bring, this post is a bit late finding its way to cyberspace. \
24th June
Multiple personality disorder. They’ve grown increasingly popular these past decade or so. With holywood making big bucks out of it, drug companies having a field day with it. It’s no wonder that everyone uses the word schitzo so lightly nowadays.
But like anything with a ‘disorder’ at the back of it, there’s also the normal physiology of it. Like there’s eating disorder, but you’ve also got yourself a normal eating habit. Ergo with multiple personality disorder, I guess there’s also the normal variety of multiple personality.
Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I do, indeed, need to see Prof Hatta. But I believe that everyone has got a bit of multiples in them. I personally believe that if you’ve never talk to yourself – be it to psych yourself up or convince yourself of something- , then you’re weird.
There has got to be the many sides of you that are constantly having a debate on most of your decision. Some are as mundane as what you choose to eat - the doctor in you tells you to choose healthily while the glutton in you tells you that you can diet another day. But then again some could be as important as who you choose to marry.
Multiple personalities are not just normal, they are pretty much crucial in our survival. The daredevil in us would always egg us on to drive fast and enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes with it. But the adult us would always tell us to think of the safety aspect of driving. It’s a mechanism that has been perfected as we live through our lives.
So it’s no surprise when the more cautious me told me not to do it. She reminded me of the repercussion that could come, the sudden mood change, the emptiness, the sucky, sucky realization. And for the past 11 days I listened to her. I weighed her arguments and sided with her.
But today the more precarious me decided to throw caution to the wind. She told me of the possible outcome and how beautiful it could be. She said that if I didn’t try, then I would never know. She reminded me of what happened when I was too cautious. And I decided to believe her. I decided to agree with her today.
They say humans have their very own built-in safety net. And I’ve just managed to ignore mine.
" I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed"
